So , yet again. I busted my ankle.
I tripped in my computer class, and sprained my left ankle.
So , I was checking out today to go to Gumbo fest, so I couldn't check out YESTERDAY. So, I had to get helped around by this guy all day. Which was humiliating. Because,, I really like this guy ,he's like the person I've gotten 'closest' to at ECA. I'm not really close with anybody there, but yeah. So, I'm embarrassed and nervous. I'm already an annoying child as it is, but when I'm embarrassed or nervous. I get 10x MORE ANNOYING.
So anyway, I'm apologizing over and over and over and over. And, like, I felt bad for him having to help me, and he was super annoyed with me apologizing.
And I kept trying to do things myself and he kept helping me, which was like AAAAAAW <3
But still, humiliating.

So yeah , UGH
then I show up today in crutches. I vowed to be Ms. Independent and I was.I carried my onw book sack which is about 7-10pounda ndm y purse around my neck which is another 3 pounds, plus I'm a fat chick , so that didn't help much. The only thing I had to be helped on was lunch. See I made some Easy Mac (whihc I didn't even end up eating much of) and I didn't think it through about getting from the microwave to the table, but I was doing it, slowly, but I was,however, Stephan had to walk over and help me . THANK YOU STEPHAN. I was complaining about being helped but on the inside very happy. ;A;
So yeah, gonna get him a gift and Kyle too.


Anyway, so yeah, I got checked out early to supposedly go get xrays on my teeth. Nah, my mom just wanted to go to Gumbo fest. So I'm like Awright that's cool. Turns out, we ended up having to park 6 blocks away. So yes, I traveled 6 blocks of heavy traffic, strange inclines, cracks, and every other damn obstacle. Was it hard? EXTREMELY , especially after thoose 5 hours in school,helping my self. Did I complain, cry, or give up? ABSOLUTELY NOT, I wanted to sorta but I was like HELL NO, I've lost enough Diginity AS IT IS. I was not going to be some helpless ninny!!!!
What sucks though , is it was raining , and I had to stand up another hour after the blocks for the gumbo fest. Plus a waiting for my mom in the rain. UGH. And the gumbo sucked, and now my stomach is killing me.


What's really bothering me about this whole mess:
I hate the attention from people
I hate the looks
I hate the comments
I hate the questions people ask
I hate seeming useless
I hate seeming like I need any help
I hate needing help.
I hate needing help and refusing to take it.
I hate being embarrassed
I hate being annoying
I hate crutches.
I hate pain.
And I hate myself most of all.


However,

I AM NOT HELPLESS. I am MS. INDEPENDENT THANK YOU VERY MUCH AND I WILL SURVIVE THIS